What should I do?

I feel so crappy this week...I don't recall feeling THAT down for such a long time. Now the only question is, should I stay or go? ...God, please help me come up with an answer...WWJD?

[EDIT] Let see why I should or should not do this:

SHOULD
- Get degree in 8 months as oppose to...1-2 years?
- WAY shorter path to CGA
- Finally OUT of Canada! New place, new people, new everything (well not laptop, TV...)
- SUPER reason for getting out of work
- Get OSAP to decrease costs...tempropary

Should Not
- Will I be able to do full time school again?
- LOTS of money to be spent, even with OSAP. AT LEAST 10K
- Need to repay OSAP after *shivers*
- NO car
- NO job = NO money
- Painful process: application process/credit transfer process/rent place to live/public transportation...ugh.

The biggest concern is imo, is will I be able to do full time school again? I am not afraid of spending the money, but if it doesn't work out at the end, it will be THE END.

FAIL.

No calls at all...I would except just one lonely call, or at least some e-mail replies. *facepalm*

Next steps.

So I finally receive my Diploma. Time for next steps. I don't think I will stay at Dyadem any longer unless I don't have other options. I know earning $20 is good, but it's time to aim higher. All my friends are earning like 40k+ and I am not even close to 40k. It's time for a CHANGE. I am going to aim for at least 50k else I would just rather stay at where I am. I am comfortable at where I am, but I just really need a change of scenery...

Convocation!

In the middle of convo. I am glad my mom didnt come. She will just complain how boring it is and how she has to take a day off because of this. I still cant get over the fact that dad didnt come. I will probably remember this my whole life. Thou to be honest its not really that special except wearing the gown and going on stage for a few seconds. Its worth it though since i spent 4 years to be here, so the least i can do for myself to be here. It's just a little lonely being here myself from beginning to end.

Ugh 2.

Want to write, but too lazy to write. If I don't write tonight, will write tomorrow anyway...

Summary:
- dad called
- boring day at work
- new job?

Ugh.

I have meant to write this post since...Friday? Forgot when --* Anyhow, late is better than never, so I am going to write it down before I forget (which I really doubt I would)...

So my father could't make it to my graduation ceremony. FAIL. For me or for him? I really want to fail him for not coming, but to be honest I think he won't be make it in the first place anyway. I mean, I told him he has to PRINT THE DAMN SHEETS off the internet and he couldn't do it. I mean there are so many damn internet bars in Macau that it's not even funny. But there is nothing I can do about it I guess if he is technologically challenged. FAIL for me though as I know I haven't tried my best to help him. A part of me do know that he wouldn't be able to make it, and hence I didn't try to help him. Sigh. At the end, I have to go alone. I don't want mom to come as...I don't know why she should. She doesn't like me, what is she going to do there? NOTHING. I would rather see NOTHING than see her there. And she wants to bring him there?! PLEASE. Seriously, she loves to bring people who I want to see at all in those situations.

We will see how it goes on Tuesday...

Other news though: I am going to buying the Sharp TV on Wednesday, and I have officailly moe'fied windows 7...Madobe Nanami is just too cute! Pipo~ Pirorin~

That's it for tonight I guess...I am pretty sure I will write something regarding Tuesday. Hope it goes well...WWJD?

Feeling like crap...

...is how I am feeling now. I don't recall feeling this bad since god knows when --*. I know I will go to work there to give out the 200k yen, but I doubt I will last the whole day although I will try.

Sad...but not THAT sad.

So my bike got stolen today. I am upset, but not THAT upset. I guess I sorta want it to be gone from the bottom of my heart because of the pain it caused me. Going to downtown, dealing with this kid and then having to pay more to fix it. I have learned my lesson though and I am only going to buy new from now. Also to buy a lock for it. I thought no one would steal it because the bike is sorta beat up and is just a normal bike. Guess I was wrong. I think I have been targeted since I have travelled a number of times and everything was ok. Like that chinese saying: "If you go to the mountains too much, you will eventually meet a tiger." Oh well, I will just buy a new bike later. Not a big problem really.

The big problem now, actually is my dad won't likely come to my graduation ceremony. Which really, really sucks. I can't get mad at him even though I am really mad at him, for a number of reasons: he is my dad, my final ally and the person who I can talk to the most; he is old, and I am being unreasonable. So I will probably have to attend alone, I don't think I will do anything about it nor I can do anything about it. I am not going to ask mom to attend because I don't want her to attend...well I doubt she will attend anyway. I will be ready for it.

WWJD?

-> I was just reading my previous post actually, and for some reason I think that they are sort of connected. I guess I am ready to lose this bike and get a new one, just like how I am ready to lose that job and get a new one. Something has to happen, even if it is bad, for changes to happen. Sad but true.

It has been a tough month so far...I guess Oct are always tough, basically the second month of any semester is always tough for some reason.

Beginning of the end?

I am beginning to feel that my time in my workplace will be ending very soon. Too similar to what happened during my last work term. Fixing my resume, something shitty happened right after, and within 1-2 months I am gone.

Assuming that will happen to me, I will have to make plans very soon. I won't be going anywhere for Oct as I have to get my diploma first.

Here is what I am thinking:

- Japan for a month
- find another job right away
- Macau for a month
- Rest then find new job
- Focus on CGA
- Do nothing (wtf?) = well probably be doing then before I find a job/decide my next step

I would just go to Japan for a month assuming I won't face any school problems...but surely rent and food is not going to be cheap. I will probably need at least $3000 CDN to get through the month (ticket, food, rent, buying stuff -> not likely, etc). The reason for that is to see if there is a chance that I can survive in Japan alone. If I prove that I can...I might as well move there. I don't know. I still need to finish my CGA here. Another strategy is to get CGA done asap, but that will delay the process for another 1.5 years (at least). Lack of options really suck eh?

I don't think I have any future there since it doesn't look like anyone will go unless they have to (eg: terminated), I really should have a backup plan in case anything happens. And SOMETHING will happen eventually, I just know it. And one more thing, it's not going to get better unless one of them is gone, which is not likely to happen as mentioned above. Let's just see how much I can milk out of this before I am forced out. I know I will. I think it's better if it were to happen because I will go nowhere staying there.

Tough week + Love Plus

Man this has been a tough week so far.

Barely finish my month end stuff today. Assignment due next week and then another BIG project due the week after. And I havent started on anything regarding those assignments.

So hearing how addicted people are, I start playing Love Plus. Girls are lovely, especially Manaka. Man how I wish I can get a girl like her as my reality GF. I don't know but I sort of lost interest in the game after I got her to confess to me (again, I wish it was in real life). Real time mode sounds very good, but it sucks that I can only do so much in one day (2-3 minutes then I got to wait until the next day...or something like that). Anyhow, here is to wish that I would get such a girl in real life...WWJD?

Work = stress?!

Hmmm, work is beginning to stress me out, like how I worry about school. Well except I only worry when there are tests and exams in school, but for work it's like a monthly thing aka month end. So let's see what I am doing now:

7 bank recs
2 Maintenance Revenue = data entry
3 Prepaid Rent
2 Prepaid Hardware
2 Prepaid Software
3 Prepaid Insurance
3 Prepaid Miscellaneous
Prepaid Deposit
2 Reim AMEX
3 Reim Employee
4 AP
3 Accrued Liabilities
3 Depreciation (furniture, office equipment, hardware, software)
Expenses reimbursement for payroll

...there are probably more but just can't think of them right now.

Donno if that's alot, but I am only a little clerk! Ugh! --*

Seriously, I don't know if I am able to handle all this stuff for September without staying after work...and as I said, I am beginning to feel the stress that comes with it, just like school.

Toaru Kagaku no Railgun

Just like Index, ep 1 started with SO much promise. Hopefully it won't freefall like Index. I don't think it will since I have already watched the manga, but who knows. The OP is excellent. Just excellent.

Can't wait to watch White Album as well. Got to soak in this season's anime!

On the Toronto Star!

Nice, I was featured on the Toronto Star today. Had an article that is 85% focused on me and have a pic along the way as well. Very nice xD Will never forget! Ask if you want link, not going to put here la~